hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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