Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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