Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
