How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
