Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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