He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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