There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Farmville is her only friend.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
