if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
