which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
