I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just found puke in my bra..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
