i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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