I want to make a zoo with you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
