WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.