I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.