It's Friday. Sex?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie