I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
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Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping