I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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