Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?

(407): View more from Florida

i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery

Fav 28 5801 990
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

Fav 13 4196 994
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.

Fav 46 1216 3629
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

Fav 16 9285 1472
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

Fav 12 3985 1579
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

Fav 20 1534 4880
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

Fav 12 5478 1198
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.

Fav 6 934 484
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...

Fav 1 54 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT