I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
