sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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