so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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