It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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