Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
