I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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