Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
