I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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