how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
