I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
