I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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