Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
