I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
