Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont even know how to be here
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
