I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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