He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What drink are we having for lunch?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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