yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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