think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
