Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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