So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
please come you make the beer taste better
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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