So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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