i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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