Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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