And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
