If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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