I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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