You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize