Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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