So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
