so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
