i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
