I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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