I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
