Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
