I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
