You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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