So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
