More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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