I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
