so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
