why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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