my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize